A Winner Is Two! Hatake Kakashi!
by Khellan Rafe
Summary: Enforcer entry for avatarjk137's A Winner Is Tow! A Survivalist Is You! Tournament. Check it out.
1. Enter Hatake Kakashi

Hatake Kakashi, famed ninja of Konohagakure no Sato and proud pervert, strolled leisurely towards the Hokage tower with his nose in the newest volume of Icha Icha. It was only a few months until Naruto and his current sensei Jiraiya were slated to return, and all seemed right in the silver-haired man's world. His friends were all relatively safe, their students and his (with one exception) promising to eclipse them all in the not-so-distant future, just as it should be. The only dark spot seemed to be his current actions, which reminded him of just why the Hokage had wanted to see him today. Sighing, he prepared himself for an all-italic flashback to yesterday evening.

"_Kakashi, glad you could make it under an hour late. Please sit down." Tsunade gestured vaguely for him to find a seat. This unnerved Kakashi for two reasons: Tsunade was never anything but angry about his habitual tardiness, and she never said please. Not to a subordinate._

_So he sat, somewhat anxious now, and waited for the Godaime to start speaking. It didn't take long as she quickly adopted her most businesslike pose, both hands touching at the fingertips, held just beneath her chin, "You have been requested for a high ranking mission into foreign territory. You, specifically, and you alone. Konoha has never been contacted by the clients trying to hire you and we have no information concerning them in the archives. They are likewise telling us nothing about the mission they want you for, it's location, duration, nothing we use to judge mission ranks by." Here she stopped talking, and simply stared intently into Kakashi's lone, and suddenly serious, black eye._

_Kakashi was hailed as many things, but before all else he had been called a genius. Rightfully so, considering his past and recent exploits. Therefore it took him all of a fraction of a second to piece together what Tsunade had said between the lines, "So then, it's up to me to decide whether or not I want this mission, eh?" at Tsunade's stiff nod, Kakashi thought a moment and asked, "Who was this person that contacted you? What did you think of him or her?"_

_Sighing, Tsunade relaxed her posture to rub her brow, then replied, "He was… unusual. Emotionless as any ninja, but the way he moved killed that possibility. He was a civilian, wearing strange clothing that I've never seen the like of before, and some sunglasses. Completely unassuming otherwise: medium build, medium height, brown hair, no scars or markings on his face, nothing distinguishing at all. He called himself… ah what was it…?" The Fifth maintained her thoughtful expression for a moment, then snapped her fingers, "Ah, yes. 'Anonymous Thug 142, but most just call him Chuck'."_

_At that, Kakashi's eyebrows rose considerably. Admitting he was some hired goon? And the 142__nd__ hired goon among however many? Wtf?_

_Tsunade nodded in a somewhat commiserating manner and continued, "He said that the organization that sent him was called BORED." Seriously, wtf? "He said he would return whenever he felt like it to pick you up for the mission. When I politely (read: irately) informed him that all missions are scheduled strictly, he didn't seem to think about it much before saying he'd be back tomorrow at 9AM. Like it wasn't the first time someone had told him 'whenever' isn't the way they do business. What do you think, Kakashi?"_

_For his part, Kakashi seemed to be taking the information he was being given in stride. Outwardly he seemed to be contemplating what Tsunade had said with all seriousness. Inside, however… _This is fucking ridiculous. I can't believe I'm still here considering this._ Really, Tsunade was leaving the mission's acceptance or refusal completely in his hands. And with how things looked at the moment, the elite jounin would be perfectly within his rights as a sane, thinking being to refuse such a ridiculous request._

_Although, if he was honest with himself, this was the most interesting thing to happen to him since he'd taken on Team 7 years ago. He could use something interesting in his life again. Things were relatively peaceful, the village wasn't on alert for anything other than the usual suspects, and that made things incredibly _boring_ for a war veteran like Kakashi._

_After a moment more of silent deliberation, the jounin gave his signature eye-smile and said simply, "Tomorrow at nine, you said?"_

Shaking his head slightly to get the fuzzy effects of the flashback away, Kakashi glanced away from his book briefly to see that he was already in front of the Hokage tower. A short stroll later, and he was three floors up and standing in front of the Hokage's office.

Precisely one minute late.

Smiling to himself, the masked shinobi rapped thrice on the door and made his way inside, stopping short at the intense glare he was receiving from the Hokage. Eye-smiling at her, he chuckled contentedly to himself. That's better. "Sorry I'm late, but there was this odd man named Anonymous Thug 298 that asked where the post office was, and I had to show him the way."

Before Tsunade could verbally throttle him, an empty, emotionless voice came from Kakashi's right, behind the door, "Charlie? He shouldn't be here. Are you sure he said Anonymous Thug 298?"

Glancing around the door with a sweat drop firmly in place, Kakashi came eye-to-shades with Chuck. The man was exactly as Tsunade described him, and Kakashi was willing to bet he had only that one outfit in his closet. Eye-smiling again, Kakashi replied, "It was a joke, 142-san. Hokage-sama told me yesterday about your… unique name. I thought I'd just… never mind. Nice to meet you."

Showing no emotion, Chuck still managed to convey somehow that he didn't care much for Kakashi's humor. "Indeed. Are you ready to leave, Hatake-san?"

Shrugging off the odd man's complete lack of humor, Kakashi nodded. Chuck turned to the Hokage, saying simply, "We'll have him back to you later. Good day."

The two then departed as swiftly as Kakashi had arrived, saying not another word to the Godaime. As Tsunade watched them leave, she couldn't shake a feeling of foreboding directed at her top Jounin. So she did what she always did during such times: cracked open a bottle of sake, and started an office party.

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Kakashi followed slightly behind and to the left of Anonymous Thug 142, for a variety of very good, ninja reasons. It wasn't mostly because he didn't want to be associated with the eccentric, strange looking goon. That would be childish and unprofessional, neither of which Kakashi was. Often.

It didn't take long to leave the village, or get to a small clearing outside Konoha's walls not much bigger than Kakashi's home. Calling it a clearing at all was a rather generous statement, actually. If forests had nooks, that's where they would be. Sensing that this was their destination, for whatever reason, the silver-haired Jounin decided to try and get some more information from his, erm, employer, "So, Chuck, other than following you around, what does this mission entail, exactly? Assassination, retrieval, guard duty, investigation…?"

Turning to face the Jounin, Chuck replied monotonously and without a hint of playfulness, "Yes."

Nearly falling over from the weight of the sudden sweat drop, Kakashi sighed inwardly as he had not done since the first day he met Naruto. This was going to be a long, long mission. Immediately following this conclusion, of course, is when it started to get interesting.

The ninja and his new employer suddenly had to brace themselves against a buffeting wind, though Kakashi couldn't find a source with a quick glance around. He saw Chuck look skyward, and followed the man's gaze, eye widening when he caught sight of the completely alien _thing_ creating the wind.

It was big, probably thirty or thirty-five feet in length, and as wide as a city street. The air was being generated by three downward facing cylinders, burning with fire hotter than any katon jutsu Kakashi could use. As he stared in awe at the oblong flying machine, a five foot square section peeled away, revealing part of the inside. It also allowed a rope ladder to drop down to their level, an obvious sign to climb on up.

Chuck turned back, motioning for Kakashi to follow him up the ladder and into the mechanical transport. Following cautiously behind, the copy-cat ninja was pleasantly surprised to find the cabin of the thing well furnished and noise-proof, once the ladder was retracted and the door closed. Kakashi was, very understandably, still trying to figure out which questions he should even begin asking his employer's chosen intermediary. Instead of just standing there for a few minutes and looking dumb, however, he opted for the more professional 'I'm-a-ninja-that-didn't-faze-me' approach.

After a brief stroll to one of the five easy chairs in the cabin, the shinobi veteran took stock of his surroundings and made himself comfortable. The interior paneling was all done with very fine lacquered wood, with obvious compartments probably housing food and drink. The easy chairs provided for the passengers were easily the most comfortable things Kakashi had ever sat in, and were inscribed with the moniker La-Z-Boy. _Probably the manufacturer_, he thought to himself.

After a brief moment to take in the cabin, Kakashi was recovered enough to ask, "So, Chuck, what exactly will I be doing for BORED? You led me to believe it would entail most of the unpleasant aspects of a ninja's skill set."

Almost laconically, Chuck glanced at his masked traveling companion and replied, "To save time, I'll just say this. They told me to come get you. That's it. I think they'll probably have you do most of the things you mentioned before, because they always need those types of things done. If you're curious about your mission, wait until we arrive at our destination to ask questions."

Sighing in acceptance, Kakashi turned from his robotic guide to a window with an incredible view of their takeoff from the Elemental Countries. _This is an amazing sight. I hope I can do this again, sometime._ Then the perverted ninja pulled out a copy of Icha Icha, as he always did, and settled in for a long wait.

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Time and five savory chapters, a brief nap, dinner and a movie (which of course there was) passed before the small futuristic, craft was being docked in what looked like the heart of a volcano. When Kakashi looked incredulously at Chuck, the man unflinchingly produced a mask for the ninja. As fashionable as two masks were in Kakashi's opinion, he calmly pulled his usual down past his chin to accommodate the breathing apparatus. When both men were geared up, the pilot opened the under-hatch so they could both, erm, step out.

Quickly stepping through the sauna-like atmosphere of the volcano's bowl, the two travelers then entered the compound situated in the center. Kakashi saw Chuck use a card of some kind to get inside, and resolved to find himself one. Some few minutes later and they had arrived in a small conference room, with one man sitting at the head of the table, waiting patiently. He was a man of middle everything, much like Anonymous Thug 142, with a few exceptions. He was wearing glasses, for one, and the eyes behind those glasses conveyed a startling intensity while remaining unreadable.

"Good afternoon, Kakashi Hatake. My name is Charles Foster Ofdensen, one of the three members of BORED currently on the island. Before we get started, this is an access card for Enforcers. It will let you in to anywhere you need to go on Grand Cross Isle." Ofdensen casually tossed the card Kakashi's way, and the ninja just as casually caught it before the conversation continued, "I'm sure you have a great deal of questions, but allow me to brief you on the situation before we get into more specific details."

Taking a deep breath and a sip of water, Dethklok's less-than-scrupulous manager began his explanation of BORED's activities, "This island will be the battleground for a survival competition. There will be many contestants, all of which will be fighting each other during the course of the competition. Your job is to ensure things stay fast paced and exciting for our spectators, and to allow only one fighter to leave any given battle alive. This is a last man standing competition, after all. To facilitate these responsibilities, you will have access to our main headquarters here in the bowl of Split Mountain. Also, there are several outposts scattered across the island. We strongly encourage each Enforcer to set up their own base of operations at one or more of these strongholds. This map will show you the locations, as well as the layout of the island. I'll take whatever questions you have, now."

Kakashi gave the map a look before voicing his first query, "These outposts, are they hidden from the contestants at all? I would hope they aren't obvious enough to stumble upon."

Nodding, Ofdensen replied easily, "They are secure locations on this island. No entry without a keycard, and it's highly unlikely any contestant will be able to find one without knowing where to look."

Not entirely satisfied by that evasive answer, the ninja continued with his questions, "Should I try to keep the contestants away from any certain area, such as around the Split Mountain?"

"No, we'll have separate resources allocated for that purpose." This response raised a red flag in Kakashi's mind. A very large, uncomfortable red flag that he kept from influencing his features or tine of voice. Shinobi were trained to be emotionless tools from when they join the Academy to Jounin and ANBU. However, that training can only dehumanize one so much. Kakashi himself was once a perfect tool, and that had gotten his best friend killed. Being referred to by such a moniker was not something the elite Jounin was fond of.

Resolving to be more careful than ever, Kakashi asked another question, "How will I keep the contestants on the island if they decide they don't want to be here anymore?"

Raising an eyebrow, Charles responded, "Quite a mind you have there, Mr. Hatake. A very good question, and one easily answered. There is something of a shield around this island, invisible to the naked eye, that requires a certain frequency to get through. The transport that brought you here was obviously equipped with the proper harmonic device and code to pass through the shield. No contestant will be provided with such resources, I assure you."

Nodding, the ninja was already thinking about whether his summon nin-dogs would be able to cross such a barrier. He quickly filed that thought away into the 'last resort' bin. One final, and obvious, question came to Kakashi's genius mind, "Will I be provided with specifics on the contestants and other Enforcers?"

Once again, Ofdensen gave a curt nod, "Of course. We can't have you haring off unprepared." With that, the bespectacled man handed over a small stack of files, named and numbered, that presumably held the information Kakashi had just requested. The shinobi believed, despite Ofdensen's words to the contrary, if he hadn't asked for the information he wouldn't have received it.

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After their introductory meeting, Kakashi was left to explore the halls while Charles went elsewhere to take care of whatever business he needed taking care of. The newest Enforcer could have sworn he heard something about pickles. Deciding to grab some water in the break room before familiarizing himself with the complex he was in, Kakashi was surprised to find someone else already occupying the place. He was a big man, though the Jounin had seen bigger, though none as oddly dressed and with no regard for concealment. _Well, perhaps Naruto…_

Before Kakashi could slip away, the big man turned from the TV towards the sink, presumably to get some water himself, before he spotted the silver haired man now in the room with him. "Hey there! Come on in and have a seat, I was just getting ready to watch Superman IV! I'm Mr. Incredible, by the way." For such a large person, Kakashi was impressed the man could cover so much ground so quickly. Having read through most of the informational files on the contestants and Enforcers, Kakashi knew what this man was about.

_Strange that a man with his background would be willing to do what we'll inevitably have to do, though._ Shaking off his musings, Kakashi reached out to take Incredible's proffered hand, "Hatake Kakashi."

Somewhat taken aback by his fellow Enforcer's lack of elaboration, Mr. Incredible tried valiantly to keep things moving, "Well that's an odd name, eh? Sounds Asian, maybe Japanese. That where you're from?"

Since it was technically possible for Kakashi to answer both questions with one answer, he said simply, "No." Seemingly done with the conversation, Sharingan Kakashi pulled forth his Icha Icha and began reading. Though a very outgoing person, Mr. incredible also knew when he was being ignored. Sniffing in a very affronted manner, The hulking brute went back to his Superman IV.

At that point, two men entered the room. One, Charles Foster Ofdensen, was familiar. The other was a long, black haired man with an interesting looking scar running down the right side of his face. He was also dressed in an immaculate suit, and carried an air of long-held authority. The larger man jumped off the couch upon sighting these two, and practically ran over to shake their hands, "You must be Sakyo Valdez. I'm Mr. Incredible."

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After finding out Mr. Incredible was being kept in the dark about most of what was going on at the Isle, Kakashi needed out of the complex. His mind was racing with possibilities, chief among them being, _If they lied to him about the basis of what we're supposed to do here, what have they lied to me about?_ This made Kakashi very uncomfortable. The success or failure of any given mission often went with the legitimacy of the information surrounding said mission. If the Jounin was receiving false information, the whole mission could easily be botched.

_And wouldn't that be entertainment for whoever is watching the fiasco?_ That thought gave Kakashi pause. Looking at the situation from that point of view, it would be easy to see why BORED would want their Enforcers to screw up. Acting under that assumption, the Jounin tried to sort through what Ofdensen had told him earlier to see what could be counted as fact.

_The shield around the island most likely exists, though the method of breaching it may be other than I was told. Can't really trust the profiles of the contestants, though the Enforcer bios might be accurate if Incredible is any indication. The outposts are an obvious way to keep tabs on the Enforcers. I'll have to set up my own HQ somewhere else. I'll still need to choose an outpost to call my own, but that doesn't mean I'll stay there. This island will need some exploration, to prove the validity of the map. Other than that, I guess it's business as usual._

Finding himself out of the shadow of Split Mountain and in the tall evergreens immediately surrounding it, Kakashi smiled under his mask, before he whispered to himself, "Just have to keep looking underneath the underneath."

Then he was gone.


	2. Kakashi Intermission 1

Eyeing the dull black fragment of Kagutsuchi, in its dormant state giving off no light, Solidus Snake couldn't help the smirk that came to his face. Looking around at the bodies littering the small section of Hell he currently occupied, some his soldiers and the rest the demons they'd slaughtered, his smirk broadened into a grin. "Lieutenant, secure the perimeter. Extraction could take a moment." As his soldier saluted sharply before barking orders to the rest of the squad, Solidus took out a small black box, and pressed the little red button. _It's always the red button…_

As the Patriot waited for the return portal Sakyo was currently getting word to send, Solidus smirked again at the leverage that made this possible. _After messing the last tournament up so badly, he owes all of BORED a favor or three. That this one is right up his alley should keep his mind of the reason, and just relieved that the expense is so low. Relatively speaking._ Suddenly before Solidus, a hole appeared in the air large enough for a grown man. Whistling to his squad, the Patriot waved them all through, following last of all.

**********

Kakashi had been an active Enforcer for close to a week now, and the tournament hadn't even started yet. His first several days working for BORED had included rounding up select contestants, exploring the island, the outposts, the base in Split Mountain, and meeting and getting to know some of his Enforcer brethren. Of all these activities, the most disconcerting were his fellow Enforcers. Frightening men, one and all, and Kakashi himself was even then trying to develop separate plans to take them all down should the need arise. Of them all, he couldn't decide which was the most dangerous, for a variety of reasons.

_Smoker is obviously an incredible fighter, possibly the single strongest fighter of them all. Travis' talents at assassination meet or exceed my own, making him dangerous if I'm not looking directly at him. Mystique's unique ability makes it impossible to trust anyone, and staying on my guard every second is in itself a dangerous thing to do. Joruus is such an unknown quantity it's near impossible to develop a strategy for him. Shadow, strange as he is, far outstrips me in speed. Incredible is many times more physically strong than anyone I've ever met, Tsunade included. I haven't even managed to discern if my info on the contestants is accurate, but if it is I have even MORE to worry about…_

Kakashi's inner monologue was cut off with an abrupt shake of his head. First thing's first: Ofdensen was expecting a report detailing his goings-on so far. That meant where on the island he'd been, what he'd found, his opinion of the most dangerous areas and where he was making his base. Of course, if Kakashi was planning to tell him all of what he was thinking, he'd be committing suicide.

Walking the halls of the base in Split Mountain for the first time in days, Kakashi was taking the most direct route to the meeting room, trying to avoid anyone and everyone that might be wandering the halls. Arriving at the meeting room with a sense of foreboding, Kakashi opened the door and stepped inside, surveying the scene he walked into with no discernable expression. _No wonder no one was wandering the halls. They're all here. Oh well, at least I'm the last to arrive, as planned._ Kakashi couldn't help but give an eye-smile at that thought. Business as usual.

Charles Foster Ofdensen seemed less than pleased with Kakashi's continued tardiness, and was near to telling him so when Joruus C'Baoth jumped in for him, "Insolent pup! I refuse to be kept waiting at every one of these meetings because you refuse to keep track of the time! If it happens again, I will scour your mind free of everything you hold dear." From his initial angry tone, Joruus ended his speech with a cold finality to his statement Kakashi could recognize as trouble. Of course, he wasn't going to let that stop him from keeping Obito's memory alive. Eye-smiling at Joruus, Kakashi simply took his seat between Travis Touchdown and Shadow the Hedgehog.

Clearing his throat to move things on, Charles Foster Ofdensen addressed Kakashi himself, "While Joruus' methods may not be to my liking, he has a point. You've been late to every meeting so far, Kakashi. If your tardiness continues, I may lose my patience. Understood?" Charles' gaze was boring into Kakashi's single, smiling eye. After a faint nod of his head, Ofdensen continued, "Now, your report, if you please."

Clearly, even if the Sharingan wielder didn't please, he'd still have to give the report in question. So without further ado, the masked shinobi adopted a serious(ly lazy) expression, and began, "I've mostly kept to the south end of the island, scouting around the lake, as it's the largest source of fresh water. Due to the lack of large, carnivorous beasts on the island, as well as the reasonably easily traversed territory, the only danger from geography lies with Split Mountain itself."

Nodding, Ofdensen asked in a neutral voice, "And where have you made your base, Kakashi? All the other Enforcers here have disclosed their permanent headquarters, and they're clearly marked." Charles waved a hand vaguely to his left, indicating the map of the island hanging from the wall. Indeed, all the other Enforcers had their bases marked and named, though Kakashi suspected they weren't all foolish enough to give true locations. _Which makes them even more dangerous. Ah, this is just like home, looking for kunai from all directions, trying not to lose track of the ones I can see._

With no change of expression, Kakashi withdrew his signature weapon, and threw it towards the map. "That's where I've made my HQ, Mr. Ofdensen. If I'm not here or out patrolling, that's where you can find me." Silently, he added, _At least, that's where you can find one of my kage bunshin._ Those bunshin were far too chakra intensive for Kakashi to keep one up 24/7, but when he was in his private HQ, it was easy enough to keep one there. He also had discovered a new trick to the technique, one that would keep him alert at all times. Just like when you receive the weariness when you allow a kage bunshin to fight, so too do you receive a restful feeling when you let one sleep. The elite Jounin was counting on that to get him through this mission with no real sleep, though he didn't think he could keep it up more than a month or so.

It made Kakashi smile inside as he saw some of the Enforcers tense when he brought the kunai out, then relax as they saw where he threw it. Notable exceptions included Travis Touchdown, Joruus C'Baoth, and Captain Smoker. _As expected, these three are seasoned enough to read the intent behind an attack. The rest could be holding back, though, Shadow especially. He should have been able to tell where the kunai was going before I threw it, considering that he needs to be able to make split second decisions at the speeds he travels._

Sighing, Kakashi asked, "Will that be all, sir?"

Raising a trimmed eyebrow, Ofdensen replied curtly, "Yes, Kakashi, that will be all. Keep me informed of any new developments, otherwise be back in a week."

Nodding, Kakashi stood and removed himself from the presence of his fellow Enforcers. By the Sage, this would be a trying mission!

Turning to his employer, Joruus snarled, "Why is he even here? He's useless to this organization! If you would simply allow me to—"

The Jedi was interrupted by a steely glance from Ofdensen, as well as a sharp reply, "As I've already told you, Mr. C'Baoth, reserve your talents for the contestants only. Kakashi is more than a competent Enforcer, if a little… put off by the situation." Ofdensen ended his rebuke with a clear, if unspoken, warning to let it go. After a short silence, Joruus turned away from the man, as if the words just spoken were beneath his notice.

Turning back to the group at large, Charles addressed them all, "The rest of you are dismissed. Be back in a week, inform me of developments, and so on." As the rest of BORED's Enforcers filed out of the conference room, Shadow far and away in the lead, Ofdensen sat with his fingers laced in front of his face contemplating Kakashi. Obviously an incredibly sharp man, the ninja seemed able to put things together the Charles would rather have left in pieces. How soon would he catch wind of Operation Black Lotus?

Then again, if it was inevitable, maybe he should learn of it sooner rather than later. Of course, with brevity often comes a lack of… details.

*************

Days out from the base, Kakashi was trying to piece together the whole scenario of a battle that had only just finished. The two contestants, Midou Ban and a man known only as Nero, had fought with unexpected prowess and ferocity. As well as abilities that Kakashi hadn't found in his info folders.

_Midou Ban, nicknamed the Genius of Battles, an extremely capable fighter. Strength exceeding a grip of 200kg, special move Snake Bite, which takes advantage of his incredible strength. So what was that Snake Kill move he ended the fight with? And the second the fight started, when they met eyes, Nero just… stopped. What was that technique?_

_And Nero himself, swordsman, gunman, though I'm not familiar with that term. Also capable of using a 'Devil Trigger', increasing his battle effectiveness by at least fifty percent. Didn't see anything like that, unless this Vergil is his Devil Trigger, but that doesn't click. And he had his spine ripped through his back, then GOT UP! What the hell is he?_

As he mused on this, staring at the body left behind by Ban not five minutes ago, he narrowed his eye as one of BORED's lackeys showed up carrying a box with obvious care. Taking out a living contestant? Unlikely, that was the job of the Enforcers, and they were still waiting for those orders. Kakashi simply watched and waited, mind racing over possibilities. This man wasn't dressed as either Sakyo's or Charles' servants. Solidus, then, likely due to the soldier's purely functional clothing. As the man opened the box, Kakashi saw a faint glow coming from inside, which intensified greatly as the soldier turned the box on Nero.

Suddenly the white-haired young man's body twitched, then started convulsing, releasing an aura of blue light slowly taking a shape. As the light resolved into what looked to Kakashi like a samurai in archaic armor, wielding a traditional katana, this figure lashed out at the soldier, cutting him down with no effort. Eye widening at the speed the apparition moved, Kakashi readied himself for a _shunshin_ should the creature Nero had become turn its attention towards him. Fortunately for the shinobi, the creatures' attention seemed to be elsewhere as it stalked deeper into the forest, with a lack of noise that almost had Kakashi frightened.

_What a ridiculous ki! And it's speed… Truly a frightening opponent. _As the masked shinobi began moving backwards into the trees, keeping an eye on the path Nero had taken, he failed to notice the figure behind him. The figure with a knife to Kakashi's back, and a grin to cow the demons of Hell itself.


	3. Scars

It wasn't a twist of fate, or act of God, that saved Kakashi from paralysis or death as his unknown attacker made a stab for his back. It was decades of shinobi training and the endless honing of more than five senses. A faint feeling of unease, disconnected from the demonic transformation he'd just witnessed. The feeling you get when you're being _watched_, not simply looked at. Most telling of all, however, was an incredible bloodlust Kakashi had rarely had cause to come in contact with. The last time he'd felt something this strong was… _Sabaku no Gaara. But he's not here, so who?_

All this Kakashi sensed in less than a second, and he was thinking about Gaara even as he was halfway through the pivot that would take him to the left of the knife thrust. He wasn't expecting that thrust to be a feint, however, and took a minor slash to his left forearm before he could jump back and get some distance. He wasn't expecting to look into the painted face of a horribly scarred clown, in bedraggled, grungy clothes of purple and green. His hair was also a deep green, greasy and stringy, though Kakashi couldn't make out the eyes.

_The Joker, from Gotham City. Psychotic, insane, schizophrenic, good with a knife or pencil, and full of surprises. Great._ The masked shinobi wasn't thrilled with his opponent, but BORED's orders had been very clear. If and when a contestant attacks an Enforcer, that contestant is to be put down. With finality. _Fine, but I can at least give him a chance._

"My name is Hatake Kakashi, an Enforcer for this tournament. You have one chance to walk away from here alive." The Jounin wasn't entirely surprised to see the man still coming forward even after his statement. The bloodlust he'd sensed earlier was, after all, not something to be assuaged with words.

Shaking his head with quick, jerky motions, the Joker replied in stilted cadence, "No, no, you don't understand! See, this is a tournament, right? A survivalist tournament. You don't need any Enforcers for that! Eventually, all the contestants will be forced to kill each other anyway! Food, territory, just plain ugliness, all adequate reasons for a pitched battle! Of course, that's assuming everyone here _needs_ a reason, which I _don't_." The deranged man hadn't advanced into knife range of Kakashi, stopping a few paces back, presumably to finish his tirade, "So, what do you say? Let's try and kill each other!"

Chilled slightly by the Joker's last words, the shinobi drew a kunai as he was attacked by the clown, catching the switchblade with his own knife. Kicking the Joker in the chest, Kakashi followed up with an upward thrust, angling for the deranged man's stomach. He was surprised as his opponent seemed to simply fall backwards, cart wheeling briefly before coming to a stop on his face, not moving. Kakashi couldn't see the rise and fall of the Joker's chest, not even a twitch of the fingers. _There's no way. He's playing possum._

Wanting to test his theory, the masked ninja pulled out another kunai and casually tossed it the Joker's direction, not really aiming for any spot in particular. As the throwing knife hit the deranged man's shoulder blade and stuck fast, probably in the bone, Kakashi was surprised to see no movement from the body. _He's dead or out cold. Not even I could pretend a kunai in the bone is painless when I didn't see it coming._ Still in slight disbelief that a mere kick could end this fight so easily, the ninja walked calmly over to the fallen man, intending to ensure the job was finished before moving on.

Stopping next to the body, not even his shinobi training could move him fast enough to avoid a slash inches from his leg. Crying out from the pain in his left leg, where the Joker's knife was stuck fast in his calf, he began falling back as his leg buckled. Catching himself with his right hand, he pushed of with his right leg, getting his body into the air and spring boarding away with his right arm. The Joker obviously hadn't thought the shinobi capable of such a thing, as his second slash caught only air. Staring in mild surprise, the clown-faced man said smoothly, "Well, that was an impressive display of acrobatics. Several other words that come to mind are annoying, infuriating, and GET BACK HERE!"

Kakashi wasn't prepared for the ferocity of the Joker's charge, and barely got his kawarimi off in time to escape the flurry of stabs, slashes and other wild cuts the clown delivered. It was worth it, however, to see his apoplectic face as the log poofed into being before him, covered in knife slashes. He then started laughing uncontrollably, bending at the waist and chuckling, then throwing his head back with maniacal laughter. Waving his knife around, he began talking, seemingly to Kakashi, though he couldn't have known where the shinobi had reappeared, "That's a great joke! I'd love pulling that one on the Batman when I get back to town. What say we put the fight on hold, and you teach me that little trick? I know, I know, probably not something I can get for free. How about a little exchange, then? I'll tell ya a story. I'll tell ya how I got these scars!"

At that, he turned directly towards Kakashi, staring through the bushes and straight into his only visible eye, which widened considerably. The Joker went on, still staring straight at Kakashi, "I was twelve, you see, and didn't smile much. My dad was constantly beating on my mom, you see, so I didn't have a whole lot _to_ smile about. But one day, when my dad was blessedly absent, my mom took me down to the river, where we had a rope swing. It was of course attached to this tree, a great big old oak tree. Mom seemed fine that day, although she'd been a little off lately. The beatings, I thought. She wanted to show me something, a carving in the tree, a smiley face. She turned to me when she pointed it out, said 'Isn't that a nice face? Why don't you try it?'"

A slight change of voice, a darker tone, came to the deranged clown across from Kakashi, as he continued, "I didn't smile though. Couldn't, while she looked at me with a manic gleam in her eye. I knew, right then, the beatings had driven her insane. She saw me looking back at her, not smiling, and grabbed me by the shirt. She pulled out a kitchen knife from her apron. She was wearing an apron; did I forget to mention that? She put the knife right here," at this the Joker put his own knife on the inside of his mouth, at the base of the scars on his right side, "And _cut me_. One side after the other. Screaming the whole time that if I'd smiled, if I'd _just smiled_, she wouldn't have had to make me. And now I'm always smiling. _Always_."

Kakashi was chilled to the bone by this… this terrible brutality. Enough to drive anyone over the edge of sanity. So he unveiled his Sharingan, and stood up, making his way into the clearing with the Joker.

Looking at Kakashi's strange eye, the Joker said, "Well, that's something I've never seen, and I've seen a lot. What does it do?"

Looking at the insane creature in front of him, Kakashi answered with sorrow, "It grants wishes." And trapped the Joker in a genjutsu, where he was a child once more, surrounded by loving parents.

To his surprise, the clown started slashing about at his parents, who were smiling at him, "NO! Get away from me! I killed you! I KILLED YOU! No—" Then his manic cries were cut off, as the shinobi's kunai buried itself in his throat, severing the spine, and killing him before he hit the ground.

Sighing, Kakashi covered his eye once more, a feeling of pathos nearly overwhelming him in its poignancy. He considered retrieving his kunai, but decided against it. The shinobi wasn't a superstitious man, but he wouldn't chance any of the Joker's insanity being imbued into that weapon. Turning away from the body and back towards Split Mountain, a quick shunshin took him from the clearing and the corpse he left there. He'd tend his wounds elsewhere.


	4. One More Time

A few days in his private HQ, and Kakashi had his leg and arm nearly back to one hundred percent after his fight with the Joker. All that kage bunshin rest had actually helped the healing process, something the former ANBU would need to remember for future use. Something else unexpected was that he and Jade Curtiss had actually become something like friends, though that was a strong word for a mutually beneficial relationship that entirely lacked trust. Kakashi hadn't even thought to pay much attention to Jade's first under-the-radar transmission of, "Watch yourself out there, they know where you are." Except that, a day later, Ofdensen had asked the shinobi if he preferred camping to staying indoors. After that, even though Kakashi double checked most of the info Jade gave him, he was pleasantly surprised that it all checked out. So far.

When Deadpool had arrived on the island, Kakashi's short rest period was over, as Ofdensen and Solidus both, and independent of each other, tasked the masked shinobi to physically track the mercenary. After only a few minutes, it became readily apparent that either masks made people aware of each other without need of any of the five human senses, or Deadpool was actually a better tracker than Kakashi. "If I had a nickel for every time some AU-me met Naruto's sensei…" the mercenary muttered, loudly. Yes, _muttered_ loudly. Only Deadpool.

At mention of his student, Kakashi dropped all pretenses of stealth and confronted Deadpool, "How do you know Naruto? You don't seem like you're a citizen of Konoha."

Turning to face his fellow ninja, the merc with a mouth smiled with his eyes, in a very Kakashi-esque way, "Well, no, not in this universe. Probably. But that doesn't really matter, since you'll never see him again. At least if you keep working for BORED."

The Konoha shinobi, mind racing down so many paths it was tripping over itself, settled on one thing, "They are planning to kill off the Enforcers, aren't they?"

Shrugging, Deadpool raised his arms, palms skyward, and replied, "Not so much 'plan' as 'decided before they brought you here', but yeah. Ask Smoker, if you can find him. Not sure if they succeeded with killing him, but it's the thought that counts, right?"

_That light yesterday, from the sky, just like the one they tried to kill Deadpool with. They used _that_ on one of us? _Kakashi, for once, wasn't going to bother verifying this information. Deadpool knew things about his home and life that he couldn't possibly know without some sort of clairvoyance or source on a higher plain, and if he could survive whatever that beam was, what threat could Kakashi possibly provide? No need to lie to keep him from fighting, if even the Mangekyo Sharingan would prove useless. Not needing to hear anything more, Kakashi performed a seal-less _shunshin_ to his official base, one of the BORED bunkers. Entering and immediately going to the radio, Kakashi dialed Jade's frequency, "Curtiss, this is Hatake. Are we on a secure channel?"

After a couple of seconds, the Necromancer responded, "We are now. What's up?"

"I just had a conversation with Deadpool that leads me to believe us Enforcers aren't as safe as we might think," the shinobi said with no preamble, "They plan to kill us as soon as this tournament is over, possibly before."

After a somewhat longer pause than the first, Jade said in a neutral tone, "Well, Kakashi, I can't say I'm surprised. That Deadpool would say that, I mean. Why fight us when he can just turn us against each other?"

Mentally cursing, Kakashi continued his explanation calmly, "If I had even the slightest doubt, Jade, I wouldn't have told you anything. I'm a ninja by trade, and I've spent the vast majority of my life dependent on good intel. This is good intel."

"Even if it was, Kakashi," there wasn't a pause in Jade's response this time, "how are we supposed to leave without BORED's permission? That damn shield requires a platinum keycard to pass through, and even with that there's protocol—"

"I know, which is why I think we should let Deadpool do whatever it is he's come to this island to do. They couldn't kill him with whatever that damned light from the sky was, but they used it on Smoker. If anyone is going to be able to give us a chance to get out, its Deadpool." Kakashi was now convinced of this fact. The red clad mercenary had a purpose here, whatever Ofdensen and Sakyo thought about his peculiarity and randomness, and there was no chance that purpose was to BORED's benefit.

The ninja could almost hear Jade's thoughts crystallizing from his end of the transmission, before the scientist said slowly, "Alright, I'll keep him off the screens as much as I can. Try and make it look like he's doing it himself. We still need one of those keycards though."

"Yes, I know. I'll be back to the base as soon as I can, but—" Kakashi was interrupted as a beeping noise came through, indicating that someone was trying to reach him on another line. Speaking quickly, he told Jade, "I have another call. See you soon." Reaching out to switch lines, the shinobi said, "This is Hatake Kakashi. Go ahead."

"Why aren't you tracking Deadpool?" The voice belonged to one Solidus Snake, not a man for beating around the bush, unless it suited his purposes. It rarely did with those he thought of as his subordinates.

In a bored tone, Kakashi replied, "He made me, sir. Managed to lose me in the brush. Can't you keep track of him on the video monitors?" He hoped Jade had already modified them, but either way, doubted Solidus himself would be looking. He had people for that.

"Forget it. I've got something else for you to do anyway, since you're the first Enforcer to pick up at any base. Joruus is down, permanently, and I need someone to dispose of the remains, as well as his equipment. Fortuitous that you have experience with such things, yes?" Kakashi couldn't help but grimace underneath his mask at the thought of having to incinerate another body. The smell stuck around for days afterward.

"Yes sir. What's his location?"

"North of you, one kilometer, then east two hundred fifty meters. When you're done there, hunt down his killer, codename 'Black Mamba'." The Bride, as she was affectionately, lecherously, or perversely known throughout the Enforcer ranks. Her life up to this tournament would probably make a great movie.

"Understood. Kakashi out." One thing to do before rendezvousing with Jade, then, since he certainly wasn't killing anyone else in BORED's name. He'd never liked Joruus anyway.

*******

A short time later, the masked shinobi was kneeling over Joruus' body, taking stock of his equipment. His lightsaber was a few feet from his body, indicating he'd either dropped it or had it taken from him. Kakashi was impressed by either possibility, indicating Black Mamba was a high quality assassin and fighter. After all, Kakashi didn't have the fullest understanding of what being a 'Jedi Master' meant, but he knew Joruus had been a capable Enforcer. Placing the lightsaber on the man's chest, he went through several handseals and said normally, "_Katon: Gokakyu no jutsu._" Just as the flames began to crisp the deceased Jedi's clothing, Kakashi was shoved off his feet and to the right, causing him to lose concentration, and his hold on the technique.

Reorienting himself in the air, he executed a barrel roll combined with a ninety degree spin, once again facing Joruus' corpse. On the other side of the body, another man stood, hand out, bringing the dead Jedi's lightsaber to him. Visible eye still half lidded and lazy, Kakashi stood from his crouch and said, "You should have simply allowed me to burn the body. It's safer that way." The shinobi didn't know if this man knew or cared to take information from a deceased fighter, but he might, and in Joruus case that was a bad idea. He was, as far as Kakashi was concerned, the Jedi version of Orochimaru.

The other man looked coldly back at Kakashi before replying, "I can tell from here that this man was a Jedi. I can still sense the Force surrounding his body, meaning he was a Master at least. No one of that stature will be desecrated as long as I can do something to stop it."

Sighing, the shinobi prepared himself to fight, but tried one last time to stop it, "He may have been a Jedi, but he wasn't a good man. He manipulated people's minds with what you call the Force, twisting their values and priorities to meet his own. His name was Joruus C'Baoth. I was trying to keep his influence from lingering by destroying his body."

Kakashi's words, if anything, caused the Jedi across from him to become enraged, "How dare you try to slander Master C'Baoth!" Galen wasted no time in attacking the shinobi, enraged that he would try to lie about a great Jedi Master. The man known as Starkiller couldn't have known that the Joruus at Kakashi's feet was only a clone, and Kakashi could not have known that the only Joruus Galen was aware of was long dead. So as the two clashed, lightsaber cutting through kunai and then midsection, the universe had itself a dark laugh at the misunderstanding.

That laughter was cut short as the two halves of Kakashi became two halves of a torso-sized log. Ducking immediately after the trick became known to him, Galen was still looking at the logs when twin kunai embedded themselves in the wood. Kakashi, for his part, moved as soon as he saw the younger man duck, and was glad for it as his opponent raised his hand and unleashed a wave of earth at his previous position. _That's right; the Force doesn't need handseals to operate. Stealth doesn't seem to work well either, at least for me. That puts me at a disadvantage._ Luckily, Kakashi had decades of experience on his side, and knew how to fight against _Kekkei Genkai _users, which is the closest thing to a Jedi he'd ever faced.

Forming the proper handseals while Galen Marek searched the area, the shinobi muttered, "_Doton: Shinju Zanshu_," and was gone from sight even as the Force-user sensed his position. Momentarily puzzled, Starkiller was not prepared for the hands that grabbed his ankles and almost instantly pulled him underground. When Kakashi materialized in front of him with a puff of smoke, eye curved into what looked like a smile, the Jedi heard himself talking before he could think better of it, "What did you do?"

Still eye-smiling, Kakashi raised a finger and waggled it in front of Marek's face, "Ah ah, trade secret. Now stay there and I'll be on my way." Before Kakashi could leave, however, the ground all around Marek erupted outward, taking the shinobi with it. Grunting as he slammed against the ground, then again as the ground slammed against him, Kakashi found his right side and left leg trapped beneath the wave of earth Galen had unleashed. Struggling briefly against the weight, he managed to free his right arm as Galen came into view, high in the air after jumping from the crater he'd made. Forming more handseals, Kakashi got his jutsu off just in time, "_Doton: Doryuheki_!"

The earthen wall, which Kakashi literally spit in front of himself, stopped Galen in his tracks, but not his lightsaber. The glowing white blade, the one he'd taken from Joruus, nearly impaled the shinobi, and if he hadn't moved his head to the left at the instant he'd seen it, Kakashi would have more than a singe mark on his mask. Performing another kawarimi before Galen started stabbing with abandon, Kakashi was surprised when the Jedi raised his arm in the ninja's direction and shot a bolt of lightning straight his way. With no time to dodge, Kakashi took the hit in his chest, which sent him flying back through the brush to crash against a tree.

Smoking and hacking, the shinobi pulled himself incrementally back to his feet, only to see Galen Marek scarcely a meter away, poised to strike. Throwing himself to the left, and rolling as best he could after being electrocuted, Kakashi began gathering chakra into his right hand, while also changing its nature to lightning. When he came back up, then jumped back to gain some more distance, his signature technique was chirping and ready. Galen, who had followed Kakashi after his roll and leap, stopped in surprise. "Are you… a Jedi as well?"

Raising his left hand to the side of his head, the masked man lifted his hitai-ate, revealing a red and black eye with three comma-like markings surrounding the pupil. Once again surprised, Galen Marek took an involuntary step backwards, and brought his right arm up into a guard position, blade held backwards across his forearm. Kakashi, for his part, dropped into a crouch, and said only, "I'm a shinobi," before charging at Galen.

The Jedi, though faster than most, could barely keep up with the ninja's speed as he ran straight at him. He tried to bring his blade into the path of Kakashi's attack, but that just caused a shift in direction as the _Sharingan_ read the move before it happened. The lightning blade pierced Starkiller in his upper right biceps, severing the arm entirely while also cauterizing the wound. The pain, however, was immense.

"AAAAAaaaaaaaiiiiiihhhhhhhhh!" An accurate, though inelegant, description of what it feels like to have one's arm severed and burnt. Instinctively flinging Kakashi away with the force, eliciting another grunt from the surprised shinobi, Starkiller brought his one remaining hand up to the stump of his right arm. Panting and gasping for air as he hyperventilated, the Jedi tried to bring his pain under control. Partially succeeding, he turned in the direction he'd flung Kakashi, watching as the battered ninja picked himself up again.

Snarling, Galen Marek resolved that he would kill this insolent creature who would so deface two Jedi. He was maimed! Disfigured! _In_ _pain_! This man in front of him, with the eye of a demon, would die by Starkiller's hand!

In his rage, the Jedi didn't register the use of his Sith name in his thoughts, nor the fact that Kakashi was forming more seals. Before he knew it, the shinobi was charging him again, a small knife in his hand. Galen raised his own hand, intending to fry this insolent man to a crisp, before he released more force lightning, arcing in every direction towards Kakashi.

As the shinobi was struck, the lightning simply passed through him before he burst in a puff of smoke. Still snarling, Galen turned as he sensed another Kakashi behind him and let the Force push this one away. As soon as the Force hit this one, it burst into water, drenching Galen where he stood before another Kakashi dropped from the trees above him. Looking up, he used the Force to power himself into the air, jumping exceptionally high and strong to get the tactile pleasure of hammering this annoying creature himself. Eyes wide, Kakashi brought his arms up to guard himself against the vicious snap-kick Galen sent his way.

Not stopping to think, in his rage, that this might be another trick, the Jedi was surprised yet again as his foot connected, then slid through the clone as it electrocuted him. Convulsing as he fell, the Jedi barely felt the ground as it came up to meet him.

*******

Stepping from the trees, Kakashi looked down sadly on the dead body of his opponent before replacing his forehead protector to cover his left eye. He hadn't planned to kill him, but not even the great genius, Hatake Kakashi, could predict his opponent jumping to meet him, or at what angle he would then fall, or if he would break his neck at that angle. All of these things Kakashi had not foreseen, even with the _Sharingan_, but they were all what had happened here. Standing over Galen Marek's body, the shinobi felt a strange sense of remorse, something he'd not felt over a dead opponent in awhile. Since Zabuza, if he remembered correctly.

His thoughts, however, were interrupted as he felt a change in the air, and his ears pop as if reaclimating to a difference in air pressure. Looking skyward, he saw the last faint shimmers of the shield around the island dropping. It wasn't long after that he saw a faint shape on the horizon, which resolved itself slowly into an enormous helicopter headed for Split Mountain. Frowning under his mask, Kakashi created a _Kage Bunishin_ and quickly dispelled it. Seconds later, the one he'd left back at his personal base dispelled itself, flooding Kakashi with chakra and the sense that his fight with the Jedi had been yesterday, not three minutes earlier.

Gathering his reserves, Kakashi set out for what would be his final confrontation.


	5. Brains Over Brawn

A/N: I know I said I'd have an intermission chapter going into more detail about Kakashi's rogueishness, but I'm just gonna put it into the fight chapter instead. It's not long, or terribly in depth, but it's more just icing on the cake since Kakashi's previous chapter pretty much sets the groundwork. If all you're looking to read is the fight, skip down to the second line of asterisks (*these things*).

*******

Kakashi was a mere five minutes away from Galen Marek and Joruus C'Baoth's ashes when a familiar voice surrounded him on all sides, "Kakashi! Why aren't you pursuing the Bride? She's behind you and about to come up on some contestants. Go get her!" Ignoring the voice as it continued to berate him and repeat the orders he refused to follow, the shinobi paused momentarily when Solidus contradicted himself, "Actually, Kakashi, you should come to the base. We have a security breach, and your talents would be most welcome."

Smirking under his mask, the shinobi replied in a neutral voice, "Oh? One of the contestants make it in?"

Solidus' voice was starting to become strained as he replied, "Not exactly. The sooner you get here, the sooner you can be debriefed. I'll be in the conference room closest to the main entrance."

"Debriefed?" Kakashi couldn't keep some incredulousness out of his voice, "Is that why Ofdensen is bringing in his Dethkopter? Just a short little ride over the island? He's running, Solidus, and I can't imagine one of you staying while the others flee. I'm not showing up for a debriefing, I'm getting the hell off this island. Through you if need be."

There was silence for a few minutes after his statement, and Kakashi was grateful for it as he bounded through the trees toward Split Mountain and a way off this rock. The silence didn't last forever though, as Solidus came back online, "Have it your own way, Kakashi. We might have taken you and the Enforcers with us, but now we've got to resort to more underhanded tactics. Good luck getting out of this situation alive." Kakashi knew he wouldn't be speaking to Solidus again unless it was in person. The ninja relished the thought for a moment before reminding himself that surviving was more important.

In another few minutes he was looking right at the entrance of Split Mountain and a hulking figure blocking his way. Taking in the small door set into the cliff face he was approaching, Kakashi thought the build of the person in front of him was somewhat familiar. Narrowing his eyes, though only one was visible, he recognized the big man just before he caught sight of the shinobi.

*******

As Kakashi jumped the last twenty feet to stand in front of Mr. Incredible, the large man held his hand out imperiously and shouted, "Halt!"

If Kakashi had been any less a shinobi, he might have laughed aloud at the picture in front of him, a scowling superhero ready to beat up the bad guy. Hell, it was laughable! But this situation was serious, and if Kakashi couldn't diffuse it, there might be a widow and two fatherless children in the future of the Incredible family. Holding his arms out to his sides, palm up in the gesture of peace, Kakashi said, "Incredible. I'm not here to fight anyone, I just want off this island. There's no need to get violent here."

Setting his face into a stubborn scowl, Mr. Incredible crossed his arms, "Nothin' doin', Kakashi! Solidus already told me what you're up to. That you turned the shield off so you could try and escape with valuable technical plans! Then that you're going to sell those plans to BORED's enemies! Well, not while I'm here!"

Since he still hadn't attacked, Kakashi once again tried to reason with him, "How could I have shut the shields down from outside the command center? What technical plans? There's nothing on me now that I haven't had since I got to this island. Use your head, Incredible! How many inmates have you brought back to their cells? How many have you even _seen_? BORED fed you a load of shit about this place, and I can prove it to you." _As long as Jade's still in the control room, anyway. He'd be able to find everything Incredible would need to see._

After a short pause, during which the hulking man seemed to be thinking seriously about Kakashi's proposal, Mr. Incredible nodded in the affirmative, "Alright, Kakashi, I'll trust you on this. But now you have to trust me. While I check through your claims about BORED and this island, you gotta sit tight in a locked cell. Otherwise, if I'm wrong about you, you'll do exactly what BORED said you were gonna do."

Cursing under his breath, Kakashi resolved himself to fight, "That, unfortunately, I don't have time for. Step aside, or I'll be forced to hurt you." When Incredible was unmoved, physically and emotionally, Kakashi formed some handseals and said calmly, "_Katon: Hosenka no jutsu_." Breathing through his thumb and index finger, Kakashi sent five small fireballs flying at Mr. Incredible.

Who stood there and took it. The flame didn't seem to harm in the slightest, which Kakashi had expected, but it was still a little off-putting. He'd need to roll out some of his more destructive jutsu to hurt Incredible. As he was thinking of a plan, the behemoth in front of him bent over and hit the ground with tremendous force, a move reminiscent of Tsunade. Straining to keep his balance, Kakashi could barely get away from the larger man's bull-like charge, dodging left and forming more handseals. When he finished the sequence, several regular _bunshin_ came into being, which Kakashi sent towards Mr. Incredible while he made a break for the base.

Using his superior speed to keep ahead of the heavier man, who ignored his clones like they weren't there (which, technically speaking, is true for the _Bunshin_ technique), couldn't make it to the door before Incredible threw a large boulder in his path. The boulder, dislodged with Incredible's blow to the ground, rolled past the point of impact and stuck fast in the doorway. Cursing his misfortune, the masked man spun to see his fellow masked man nearly on top of him. Taking a gamble, Kakashi moved forward to meet him with a chakra enhanced kick to the midsection, a move that earned only a grunt from the bigger man. Kakashi didn't even register the faster than average punch that had been on its way since he kicked Mr. Incredible. He was one moment on his feet, then flying, dazed, through the air, and rolling painfully on the rocky, broken ground thirty feet away.

Struggling to his feet in the midst of a now spinning world, the shinobi felt the ground tremble as the superhero he was fighting rushed his way, intent on ending their confrontation. Using the only technique he could at the moment, Kakashi _henge_'d himself into a rock, and took the time afforded him to recover completely from the hard hit he'd taken while Mr. Incredible looked around in confusion. _Thank God he's not a shinobi, or I'd be toast._ After only a few seconds, Kakashi felt able to continue, and gathered chakra into his legs before releasing the _henge_ and leaping back several yards to gain some distance.

Incredible sighted him almost immediately, but Kakashi was already halfway through his next set of handseals when the bigger man called out, "There you are you sneaky bastard!"

As the big man started to step forward, Kakashi summoned three clones to stall Incredible as he charged up a certain jutsu in his right hand. The clones surrounded the hulking brute before he could charge at him again, and all three dove in at the same time, grappling with stupidly large arms. When Kakashi's jutsu was ready, the lightning clones released themselves at the same time, giving Mr. Incredible a shock that paralyzed him for a moment. Kakashi rushed in while his opponent was still twitching, shoving the sphere of chakra in his palm straight into the larger man's midsection, "_Rasengan_!"

Mr. Incredible, for all his strength and thick skin, was still sent flying when the _Rasengan_ unleashed its considerable attack power straight into his stomach. The attack knocked the wind out of him as it hit, and this time he was sent rolling along the rocky ground. Kakashi pulled two kunai from his holster, both with explosive tags attached, and sent them hurtling after the big man. The two kunai hit the ground right behind where Mr. Incredible stopped, and the fuses began burning down as he climbed to his feet, shaking his big head to try and clear it. Kakashi immediately started forming seals, and when Incredible was sent flying forward from the blast behind him, he was met with an earthen wall not twenty feet later.

Kakashi took a moment to admire the Incredible-shaped indent in his wall, but was put on the defensive again as a fist smashed through it, sending debris flying at him. While Mr. Incredible brought the rest of the wall down to get at the shinobi, Kakashi thought furiously about how he could possibly defeat someone who could shrug off so much punishment. Then a thought struck him, and he decided that a change of tactics was in order. When the last remnants blocking Incredible's way through were dealt with, Kakashi had his plan ready to execute as he finished his current set of hand seals.

When Incredible charged again, Kakashi yelled out, "_Suiton: Daibakufu no jutsu_!" Water began to gather around the shinobi, slowly at first, then all at once a torrent on par with a medium sized lake surged forward with the crushing force of pressurized water. As the attack hit the super powered man rushing into it, it broke around him and swept him up with it, slamming him back through the wall of Kakashi's _Doton: Doryuheki_ and against the cliff face behind it. The attack didn't stop for some seconds, and Incredible was out of air when it ended. Dropping down onto his knees, he tried to regain his breath and look for Kakashi at the same time, noticing as he did so the rock he'd wedged into the entrance of the base had been dislodged when the water had smashed into it.

Eyes widening as he realized where Kakashi had gone, the big man lumbered in after him, only to see that he was waiting at the end of the hallway. Giving chase, Incredible lost sight of him until he turned the corner, only to find that, once again, the masked shinobi was waiting at the other end. Clearly Kakashi was leading the big man somewhere, but he had no idea where that could be, and couldn't afford to stop just because he might be led somewhere disadvantageous. He had a job to do!

Kakashi was carefully leading Mr. Incredible to Jade Curtiss' station, where the Necromancer was hopefully waiting for him. As he ran, Kakashi was speaking into thin air, detailing what he wanted Jade to do over and over again, on the off chance he was listening through the many cameras installed in BORED's HQ. After minutes of running and talking, Kakashi was standing in front of the door leading to Jade's work station, and as it opened he was greeted with a most welcome sight.

Jade was present, and currently pulling up all the files Kakashi had thought pertinent, and some he hadn't thought about or hadn't seen before. As Incredible rounded the corner yelling, Kakashi stepped in with a quiet, "Thank you, Jade."

Turning to crack a smile, the techno Necromancer said simply, "No worries, but don't thank me yet."

When the door opened again to a red faced Mr. Incredible, Kakashi was already standing with his hands raised, and spoke as soon as he could, "Look at the monitors, Mr. Incredible. They verify everything I told you outside, and something else. The company we work for is not looking out for anyone's best interests but their own. It seems their motto is 'the less witnesses, the better'. You still want to detain me in a cell?"

As the masked hero let Kakashi's words, and the content of various monitors, sink in, his face slowly shifted from angry to stone cold. When Incredible shifted his eyes to look at Kakashi, he said simply, "What are we gonna do about it?"

Sighing in relief, the shinobi replied, "We need to get off this island before it's too late. They plan to destroy it, as well as—" a loud, and very close, explosion interrupted Kakashi's sentence briefly, then he continued, "This base. We can't stay here much longer."

Shaking his head while maintaining eye contact, the hero said, "Not good enough. We need to take the BORED members here into custody, and stop whatever it is they're planning to do."

Narrowing his eye at the bigger man, Kakashi began to respond but was thrown off his feet by another, even closer explosion. Accompanying this one was the sound of screeching metal and a sensation of falling. Without thinking about it Kakashi secured his feet with chakra and raced past Mr. Incredible, only to see with some amount of horror the room they were in was no longer attached to the main body of the base, and was plummeting toward the lava below. Within seconds they would hit, and the other two wouldn't be quick enough to save themselves.

Kakashi, without thinking about the repercussions of failure, climbed to the bottom of the room, looking straight down at the magma. He had already performed the necessary seals, and was pumping more and more chakra into the jutsu when he let it loose with a yell, "Fuuton: Daitoppa!"

The dislocated room slowed, halted and then explosively shot back skyward as the force of the sustained wind blast rocketed downward to the lava. On contact, the quantity of forced air burst into flame, adding more force to the wind and driving the room up ever faster, before the accelerated box of steel hit the base and tore through the bottom-most level, then another, and one more before it stopped completely. Kakashi let the jutsu fade, tired beyond what he thought he would be, and made his exhausted way onto the floor, below the room Incredible and Jade were still in.

"Hey, you two, are you okay?" Kakashi yelled up at the room, waiting for some kind of response.

When there were several loud bangs from the room above him, Kakashi let out a sigh before calling back up, "I'll join you in a minute, I need to find a way to get to you."

Before he had taken more than a couple of steps, the sound of screaming metal once more assaulted his ears, followed by a welcome, booming voice, "Why not just come up now?" Turning back around, Kakashi saw that Mr. Incredible had torn out three feet of steel paneling to give Kakashi room to jump up. Gratefully accepting the offer, Kakashi joined Incredible and an unconscious Jade Curtiss, who was starting to come around with a groan.

Looking him over, Kakashi verified it had simply been a hard knock to the head that put him out, nothing that a few minutes wouldn't fix. Glancing over at Mr. Incredible, Kakashi said in an icy tone, "I think I agree with you now. BORED should not escape unscathed from this."

Shivering at the look in Kakashi's eye, Mr. Incredible nodded in agreement nonetheless. As Jade recovered, the two discussed several options with which to bring some pain.

A/N: I guess I should start telling you what all these techniques are, for those that don't know already.

_Bunshin no jutsu_: Clone technique

_Henge no jutsu_: Transformation technique

_Katon: Hosenka no jutsu_: Fire Release: Art of the Phoenix Flower

_Suiton: Daibakufu no jutsu_: Water Release: Great Waterfall technique

_Fuuton: Daitoppa_: Wind Release: Great Breakthrough

_Rasengan_: Spiraling Sphere

_Doton: Doryuheki_: Earth Release: Earthen Wall


	6. Two on One On One

Making his way with all stealth through the metallic halls of BORED's Secret Volcano Lair, the ninja Hatake Kakashi used every bit of his experience and ability evading the minions of BORED. It would seem to any but a highly trained and adept shinobi to be an impossible task, but Kakashi had nothing if not those two qualities. After his conversation with Incredible and Jade, the three had agreed it would be safer for all of them to part ways and make good their own escapes. Talk of painful retaliation and payback notwithstanding, a few cool-headed seconds was enough to convince Kakashi that was not in any of their best interests as things stood now. Convincing the other two of that hadn't been hard, when he had Jade hack a nearby computer to see what the current situation was. Demons, Enforcers, and Chocolate, oh my! The other two had wanted to stay together during their escape, but Kakashi had put a quick end to that argument.

"_We can't stay together. If we do, none of us will make it out of here alive." Kakashi's voice was hard as iron and his one-eyed gaze brooked no argument._

_Those facts notwithstanding, Mr. Incredible said reasonably, "There's strength in numbers, Kakashi. If we _don't_ stay together, we'll never make it out alive!" Jade Curtiss, although wearing a look of agreement, waited for Kakashi to make his point. The scientist sorcerer knew the shinobi wouldn't have taken the stance he had unless there was a good reason._

_Narrowing his eye, the Sharingan-wielder replied, "If we do stay together, and get attacked in these halls, it would be as good as having only one of us fight. There's no room for two people to fight side by side. If I use a long-range _ninjutsu_ technique to get past one of you, I may very well end up doing our attackers job for them. Also, three separate parties automatically have higher odds of at least one party escaping than a single group would have. Besides all of that, BORED will send less of their forces against any one person than a three-man cell. One person at the head of a group would have infinitely more trouble than one person alone. Staying together would hurt our chances of leaving this island."_

_The other two, although not in complete agreement, could find nothing to say against Kakashi's reasoning. Jade was still at the computer, and pulled up a full schematic of the base, then designated three routes that led to the docks. After promises to see them both again down there, Mr. Incredible lumbered off down the hall, taking a right. Jade gave Kakashi a blank look, and then followed Incredible until the turn, where he took a left. Kakashi watched the hallway for a moment more, then dove down the same hole Incredible had ripped through the floor, making his own way._

Now Kakashi was nearly there, passing through the cafeteria at the bottom of the base, hewn from the mountain itself. Two more hallways and one cave later, he would be at the docks and off the island.

* * *

Two levels down, and Mr. Incredible was already wading through the halls against resistance. Of course, the particular 'resistance' he was making his way through was nothing that did him any harm, just swarms of bats. He kept catching glimpses ahead of him of a robed man, face hidden underneath his cowl, and always one corner ahead of him. The red-clad hero thought he must be the one summoning the annoying winged creatures, but wasn't entirely certain. When he came to the stairwell he was to take to go down, he didn't waste time going after the summoner. Taking the steps three at a time at the run, he descended two levels to the bottom of this particular staircase, and then made his cautious way into the hall.

When he saw no one on either side of the corridor, he stepped out and ran as fast as he could through three more hallways, hoping that no other minions would try and slow his progress. He had to get home, to his family, and his fellow heroes, so they could stop BORED once and for all! Still hustling through the base to the last staircase he had to take, Mr. Incredible was slightly dismayed to see five Klokateers waiting for him with axes, maces and one sword. He would need to be careful not to get hurt, and not to hurt them badly.

When the first approached warily, obviously knowing who he faced, Bob sighed to himself, and settled in for a few minutes of stretching his muscles.

* * *

As Shadow reclined unconscious on the sickbed of Tashigi's ship, Mystique was talking to the current captain of the vessel in heated tones, "Solidus wants him in the BORED sickbay, not in some rickety f***in wooden boat from the Stone Age! He'll recover faster there, and we don't have time to argue! We had almost as much as we could handle _with_ Shadow helping, and without him we could be overwhelmed. We need him back on his feet NOW!"

Staring down the seething woman with a cool eye, Tashigi replied calmly, "This is _my_ ship, Mystique, and I don't care if Solidus himself was here shouting like a petulant child. Shadow would still be in critical condition, unsafe to move, and staying here. I'll not have him dead in transit because some bully thinks she knows best." Tashigi watched with an unchanging expression, but a small sense of inner satisfaction as the woman in front of her went through anger, frustration, fear and uncertainty, all plainly written on the shape shifter's own face.

After a long minute, Mystique finally settled on a calm she did not feel, "Very well. If that's the way you want it, you can explain to Solidus and the rest why his orders were countermanded by an… _Enforcer_." She managed to fill the word with as much scorn as Tashigi thought possible, until she uttered her goodbye, "_Captain_." Tashigi nearly had the ship's doctor run a test for venom in her system right then.

Before either woman could take more than a step toward one another, a weak voice said faintly, "Anybody want to tell me what's going on?" Whipping their heads to the sound of the voice, both women were astounded to see Shadow struggling to sit up, although it was obviously quite painful for him to be moving at all. Sighing loudly as he gave it up for the moment, his gaze sharpened when he'd patted himself down and checked the sickbay, "Where are my emeralds?" His voice was tight, whether from pain or because he was straining not to jump out of bed and find them by tearing the ship apart, neither woman could guess.

Recovering from the shock first, Mystique turned to Tashigi with an upraised brow, "Yes, Captain, where are those emeralds?" Though she had many talents, the one that had brought here so far through life in one piece was her ability to sow doubt and distrust among otherwise friendly people. She was quite proud of it.

Narrowing her gaze on Mystique for a moment, Tashigi turned to Shadow with a blank expression, "They're safely locked up, in my cabin. No one will take them."

Snarling as if she'd said they were at the bottom of the ocean, Shadow barked out in a voice too strong for his condition, "Go get 'em! They're mine, so they stay with me!" His red and black eyes were fierce on Tashigi's, but she remained outwardly calm, if she wasn't inside. _Don't be a fool! There's nothing he can do to me from a sickbed!_

Taking a breath, she replied evenly, "They will stay where they are until you are healed. You're in no condition to be haring off for BORED. Remember, I'm an Enforcer too. I can take your place until you're back on your feet."

Grinding his teeth, Shadow felt the fatigue of the argument catching up with him. He was really in no fit shape to do anything, but he _needed_ those gems, needed to know they were still his, still in his hands. He'd spent so long tracking them down… Fighting the blackness every step of the way, he gave a snarl so quiet no one heard before he slipped into unconsciousness once more.

Mystique gave Tashigi a level look before turning and making her way out the door, back to the docks. She could baby Shadow all she wanted, for all that the blue skinned mutant cared, but there was work to be done. Tashigi had better do it. She herself was going to take one last look at the monitors onboard, in a very impermanent array, to get the timing down. That made her smile, although it did not touch her eyes; Hatake Kakashi would be her golden ticket into BORED's VIP list.

Watching the red haired woman exit the sickbay, Tashigi gave a sigh of relief. She was deeply unsettling, that Mystique, and the ship's new captain took great pains to keep it from showing. Leaning against the near wall, she looked at the great black hedgehog laying there, a snarl still on his face. It wouldn't hurt to leave the emeralds here, she supposed. No one from the crew would touch them, and if it calmed Shadow enough to sleep peacefully, that would only help. Resolving to be back shortly, Tashigi left the room, headed to her cabin, and the Chaos Emeralds.

* * *

Entering the docks cautiously, Kakashi kept to the shadows as much as possible while trying to see everything that was there. Several scorch marks and blood stains were visible a hundred yards or so away, and the Marine Battleship that Smoker commanded was only slightly farther. Aside from that, Kakashi didn't see anything that could be used as an escape craft. Frowning, he tried to think of what BORED could have done with the dozens of nautical vehicles that had been kept down here, from single passenger skiffs to great… yachts, he thought they were called. _Destroyed or in use, either way denying use of them to anyone trying to leave. Clever, but they left one. Difficult to take and sail by oneself, true, but not impossible with three people. I just hope those two manage to show up._ Sticking to the shadows still, Kakashi skulked closer.

He ran over the territory again as he moved, if only to cement it further in his memory. A ceiling he could just make out was hundreds of yards up, barely shedding any light on the floor below even with the many rows of lights. Most of the light came from that only about twenty feet off the ground, circling completely around the docks. This left precious few shadows where there were no boxes, but the shinobi managed. The docks themselves, like everything else in the base, was cold steel, or something that looked very much like it, and not likely to be destroyed by anything short of a focused barrage of destruction. The floors were paneled metal, but the walls had been left as bare rock, for whatever reason, with water pipes, electrical wiring and other unknown apparatus running along as needed.

Mid step, Kakashi felt an itch between his shoulder blades and froze, keeping his body completely still. Someone passing by would probably take his shadowed form as a statue, if things in the base were less chaotic. Not even daring to breath, Kakashi waited for the feeling of being watched to pass, but it didn't. That itch, if anything, grew stronger. After two seconds, Kakashi tensed, and when the clock struck three, his raised foot hit the ground and sent him sailing up, where he stuck to the wall with chakra for a brief moment before sailing out to land in the open, twisting every which way in mid air to try and get a look at his stalker.

When Kakashi landed, smoothly for all of that thrashing about, he was facing a woman with blue skin, red hair, and a sultry, amused smirk on her face. She stood slightly sideways, left arm on her hip, right hand obscured by her body. _Mystique. _Taijutsu _expert, shape shifter, weapons expert, ruthless._ Kakashi ran over as much as he knew about her in his head, which admittedly was not much more than he'd immediately thought. She was as mysterious as she was deadly, and the two in concert, even in a straight-out fight like she seemed to have opted for, made an unwelcome combination. He nearly attacked her right then, but instead adopted a relaxed pose that was ready for movement, and said calmly, "Hello, Mystique-san. What brings you down here?"

Her smirk became even more amused before she answered, "Oh, you know, I thought I'd have a stroll while the base was under attack, maybe take one of the boats out for a pleasure cruise. What do you think, Kakashi?" Her amusement was gone when she spoke her question, and a blank face met his eye stare for stare. The more time Kakashi had to think, the less this confrontation made sense. She was good with any gun you put into her hand, and even without that she was a deadly fighter, but she knew he didn't need anything in his hands to be deadly. She was one of the few others the management had given files to, although like his, they may not have been the whole truth. She had something up her sleeve, and it made Kakashi as wary as he'd been yet; Mystique was too smart to pick a fight she knew she couldn't win by herself.

Still trying to deduce her plan, Kakashi was more than ready when Mystique brought a small gray gun out from behind her shapely hip. As she was lining up her shot, Kakashi was already forming hand seals, and by the time her weapon was in place he called, "_Suiton: Suiryuudan no jutsu_!"

A moment of puzzlement passed across the shape shifter's face, wondering what her opponent had just said, before it whipped to the right at the sound of water falling. Her eyes went wide with fear, then she was jumping back to avoid the great dragon of water that Kakashi had created out of nothing. She hadn't known exactly how far his skills went with manipulating the elements, and this was farther than she'd thought if her face was anything to go by. As the dragon slammed down in front of her, it sent up a great deluge of seawater, obscuring Kakashi from her sight briefly. When the water settled back down, however, Kakashi was still standing there calmly, hands in his pockets, eye lazily observing his former comrade.

"Will you please let me—" the shinobi's question was cut short by a burst of gunfire from Mystique's SMG, tearing through the ninja. A small smile of satisfaction touched her lips… before Kakashi went up in smoke.

* * *

Teeth grinding in frustration, the blue skinned mutant spun on her toes, trying to see everywhere at once and crouched, to make herself a smaller target. She only had to hold on for another minute. Fifty-nine. Fifty-eight…

Straining her senses, Mystique heard a soft clink behind her, where she had originally been facing, and whirled with the gun held straight out in front of her. Kakashi was so close he simply grabbed her arm before she could get a shot off, still looking with that lazy expression on the scant bit of his face she could see. Twisting casually, Kakashi caused the woman in his grip to yelp in pain and drop her weapon, as her wrist was bent farther than it was meant to go. Forty-nine.

In a completely disinterested tone, as if he was commenting on the weather, Kakashi spoke, "I should kill you, Mystique. Before you cause any more trouble. But I want to know something: why did you pick a fight you couldn't win?"

Back to the ninja because of the grip he had on her, the shape shifter was glad he couldn't see her snarl. Couldn't win, could she? Well he'd figure it out soon enough, if she could keep him occupied, "Orders are orders, you traitor! BORED told me to stop you, so here I am. Not my fault they, you and I knew it wouldn't amount to much beyond an execution." After a moment, she cried out as her captor applied the slightest bit more pressure. He was _enjoying_ this, she just knew it! Sick, twisted shinobi psyche. Thirty-four.

Frowning at her back, Kakashi said smoothly, "I'll give you a mulligan on that lie, Mystique. Now tell me again, why did you fight me?"

It was all she could do to keep the smirk out of her voice as she replied, "Not all fights are won on power alone, shinobi. There are other ways to win, if you know how to find them." That said, she calmly drew a knife from a sheath secured to her inner thigh, the action hidden by her body and Kakashi's hold on her wrist. Flicking her knife hand back at him, she heard a grunt as her blade hit the shinobi in the leg, and he leapt away from her. Free once more, she turned to face him. Nineteen.

* * *

Calmly assessing his wound, he found she'd missed any vital vein or arteries, and so he removed the knife. If he didn't stop the bleeding soon it could become problematic, but he had plenty of time to deal with this woman. Sending her blade right back, the ninja started forming handseals as soon as the knife was out of his possession. Surprisingly, the blue skinned woman managed a deft catch and began to charge. An unexpected tactic, but nothing to worry Kakashi as he completed his seals, "_Katon: Housenka no jutsu_."

Five small fireballs hurtled toward the rushing woman, but in a feat of agility to do any shinobi proud, Mystique dove and twisted right through them, coming up in front of the masked man. The fight turned briefly hand to hand as Kakashi dodged her adept attacks, pulling a kunai out of his pouch after the second swing to block her third. Trying for a front kick, Mystique managed to slip aside, to his off hand, where she thrust right for his heart. It took all of Kakashi's considerable skill to turn the lightning quick strike aside, and he was forced to leap away to gain some distance. Mystique followed right after, keeping up her assault for a few more precious seconds, before Kakashi managed to find an opening.

Gasping in pain, Mystique backed away with a kunai in her left shoulder, dropping the knife to grasp her wound. _I had to let it through, but it still hurts! Damn him._ She glared daggers at Kakashi as her mental clock ran down, then she smiled deviously and began to change. At first the ninja was spellbound by the way her normal skin seemed ripple, and then he was looking at a completely different person.

She was brunette, with elegantly parted hair that didn't reach her shoulder, and deep brown eyes. A small black mask covered her eyes, somewhat like a tanuki, but Mystique's smirk was still present. Her clothes had changed as well, now a yellow, red and black bodysuit that hugged her curves, covering arms and legs fully, with a yellow 'i' in the middle of her chest surround by a black circle. Kakashi took it all in when the change was done, and his one thought was, _Damn it_.

Mystique put on a pained expression, only partly fake, and screamed into the empty docks in a voice Kakashi thought she didn't have before. As soon as she did, Robert Parr, a.k.a. Mr. Incredible, charged through the doors directly to the right of Kakashi. When the bigger man realized what had supposedly happened, his face went from incredulous to enraged in the space of a heartbeat, and without giving the masked ninja a chance to say anything charged with a wordless bellow.

With one look at the big man's face, Kakashi knew there would be no reasoning with him; he seemed in a berserk state, looking at nothing but his former co-conspirator and current opponent. Cursing mentally, Kakashi began forming more handseals. Nothing short of deadly force was likely to stop this human tank.

* * *

Shadow the Hedgehog was having a fitful rest aboard Tashigi's Marine battleship. Unpleasant dreams of exploding heads, dismembered corpses and shattered emeralds covered in chocolate syrup took up the bulk, with a small space thrown in for the old nightmares of Maria and Gerald Robotnik. After a particularly nasty one with all those disparate elements rolled into one horrible event, he snapped awake with a gasp, breathing heavily, and covered in sweat that smelled of fear. Grimacing at the stench of his own weakness, the black Hedgehog hurriedly cast off the blankets and stood. Only the soft rattle and thunk of a bandolier hitting the deck chased the nightmare from his mind.

Looking down, he was surprised to see his bandolier of emeralds resting on the planks in front of him, glinting in the soft light of one lantern turned down to aid his sleep. Picking up the leather harness gingerly, still all too conscious of the dream in which they'd been shattered, he eyed them critically for any cracks or damage. To his relief, there was nothing but smooth, faceted and unbroken stone in his hands. Releasing a breath that he'd held until the last emerald passed muster, he saw a small mirror to his left, and went to check the damage Robotnik had done to him. Small satisfaction he'd managed to destroy the rotund inventor.

Keeping his face carefully blank, he walked slowly toward the mirror and gazed into it to find… almost fully regrown black hair over the burned regions of his face and head. Marveling at his normal reflection, his gaze jerked down to the emeralds strapped to his chest. It was said Chaos Emeralds were capable of transferring energy to one in possession of them, but he'd never suspected they were capable of this level of healing. Even his hip, where he'd been shot, seemed in no more pain than if he'd banged it against a something. Slowly his shock turned to a face splitting grin as he danced a little jig. _Just try and stop me, you bastards! I AM the Ultimate Life Form!_

Still grinning, he made his way up to the main deck with his bandolier secured diagonally over his chest, but saw no one. Frowning slightly, he shrugged, supposing Tashigi and her marines had been called away to deal with some threat to BORED. Frowning, he searched the ship as quickly as possible for Travis' beam katana and his other weapons. When he couldn't find them anywhere, he let out a frustrated snarl before he heard a disturbance from the docks, a hundred or more yards away. In the artificial light, he could just barely make out two figures fighting, when one screamed in an unfamiliar female voice. As soon as her scream reached him, he saw another, hulking figure emerge from an entranceway, someone who bellowed wordlessly and charged for the duo, or more particularly, the man.

Normally Shadow might have let these events take there natural course before killing the survivor, but he'd learned through relatively short familiarity with a certain coworker that anyone unfamiliar might just be someone he knew. That in mind, he raced to the downed female.

* * *

Cursing vehemently, Kakashi removed himself from Mystique's vicinity. If he did anymore harm to her while she was wearing the guise of Helen Parr, Mr. Incredible might not listen to anything the shinobi had to say. As it was, Kakashi was going to have to hurt him a little to snap him out of his berserker rage. Taking a long look at his charging comrade, Kakashi revised that thought to 'hurt a lot'. Forming the necessary hand seals, Kakashi said quietly, "_Katon: Goukakyu no jutsu_." The torrent of fire that spewed from the ninja's mouth took Incredible full on mere steps from the jounin.

The superhero may as well have been walking through a cool breeze for all the reaction he showed to the fireball, and delivered a thunderous shoulder to the stricken shinobi. Kakashi was sent reeling back through the air to land just shy of the water, at the very edge of the docks. Forcing himself back to his feet, though his ears rang and his knees were unsteady, he formed a single seal before vanishing in a puff of smoke. Mr. Incredible was most displeased.

* * *

Paying as little attention to the two dueling Enforcers as he thought prudent under the circumstances, or former Enforcers he supposed, Shadow crouched next to who he thought was Mystique, keeping most of his attention on her. If he was wrong, the worst he should expect was confusion over a giant anthropomorphic hedgehog, but if he was right he could possibly expect some help against whoever survived between Kakashi and Incredible. "Who are you?" he asked, looking down at the stricken brunette. If this wasn't Mystique, there was no need to confuse her even more.

Giving a start of surprise, quickly followed by a pained hiss for her shoulder, the woman glanced Shadow's way before donning a knowing smirk he knew too well on a different face, "Nice to see you out of bed, furball. I doubt I'll need your help with this, but thanks for showing up." If the woman even noticed the almost full healing of Shadow's wounds, she gave no sign.

Grunting in acknowledgement of her words as much as who she was, Shadow simply shifted his attention back to the battle. It seemed as though Mr. Incredible was getting the better of Kakashi, but that could change easily with the way the larger man was simply charging around bellowing. Once the shinobi figured out a way to—

"Incredible!" As fast as Shadow was, he couldn't outrace something that had already hit him. Kakashi's kick flung the hedgehog aside with a yell, while the ninja bent grab Mystique by the hair and press a kunai to her throat. Shadow thought he knew what was happening, and Kakashi's words confirmed his suspicions, "Stop where you are or I'll kill her!" Picking himself up slowly, the hedgehog nodded to himself. Too much stronger a demand and the superhero might not hear anything but 'kill her', but any softer and he wouldn't hear it at all.

Turning to face Mr. Incredible, Shadow waited to see what would happen.

* * *

Slowly, ever so slowly, Robert Parr fought to take control of his anger. It wasn't easy with his wife being threatened with death, but continuing in a rage would get her killed as surely as if his hand was on the knife. Gritting his teeth against the urge to rush over to Helen and beat Kakashi into a pulp, he restrained himself and said roughly, "I thought that was your plan from the start, Kakashi!" To think he'd trusted this man. He was a ninja, an assassin for hire, Bob needed to remember that. Kakashi would do or say anything to meet his own ends.

Seeing a slight tightening of the shinobi's face, Bob allowed himself a small sense of triumph. Obviously he'd caught the man, but Kakashi's next statement chased the thought away, "This isn't your wife Helen, Robert." In a soft undertone directed at the woman in his grasp, he said, "Show him."

Bob thought he saw Helen's mouth move, but he couldn't hear her at first, until she raised her voice to him, "Bob, it _is_ me. I found out about BORED, where they took you, what they're—" Kakashi cut her off with a savage yank of her hair, bringing her head back to look at the ceiling and beyond, and Helen's gasp of pain almost sent Bob back over the edge. If not for the knife at her throat, he may have simply started ripping things apart, anything he could lay hands on.

Kakashi spoke again, directed at the big, angry man across from him, "This woman is not your wife, Robert. Her name is Mystique, the blue skinned Enforcer; I know you've met her briefly. She's a shape shifter, and took the form of your wife right before you came in. She knew you were coming, and she knew you'd attack me when you saw what I'd done. I am still on your side."

For his part, Mr. Incredible, Robert 'Bob' Parr, was having no trouble with Kakashi's explanation. From the little he knew of Mystique from the brief time he'd interacted with her, he thought she would be capable of this. And he'd seen evidence of her powers in the one battle he'd seen her fight via video monitors. Even with that, though, there was one thing that he couldn't move past, "Even if I were to believe you, Kakashi, she looks like Helen. I can't take the chance of being wrong."

Unnoticed before now, Shadow jumped in, "Mr. Incredible, right? We haven't met, but my name is Shadow the Hedgehog. I'm a former Enforcer as well. When I found out about what BORED was up to, and how they were treating some of us, I couldn't stay with them. I think it might be important for you to know, before I left I found out Kakashi was being used as a double agent. They were letting him get close to Contestants and Enforcers that were showing signs of disloyalty. I know because he tried to kill me before I escaped." Bob Watched Kakashi's eye widen as Shadow's explanation wrapped up, and the hedgehog only watched the big man. Something wasn't right about that, how his eyes never changed even while his face took on the necessary innocence and earnestness.

Kakashi spoke up right behind Shadow, though, with heated words, "That's a complete lie, Incredible, and you should know that. If I was a double agent, I'd be getting close to people that were already against BORED, not trying to turn loyal Enforcers that had been fed a pack of lies. The executives could have spun anything you heard from a Contestant, and you would have trusted them without concrete proof to the contrary. Proof like what… my friend and I showed you." If Shadow and Mystique didn't know about Jade already, they didn't have to. He hoped Incredible caught on to that omission.

Shaking his head to try and sift through the two opposing stories, not to mention if the woman Kakashi was threatening with death was or wasn't his wife, Bob Parr couldn't come to a decision either way in the scant seconds he knew he was being given. He took his time on difficult problems, and this was a doozy. Steeling his features, the superhero looked back at Kakashi and a woman who looked like Helen, then gave a glance over to Shadow before he said tonelessly, "How about I just beat you two, get Helen out of danger, and then figure everything out?"

Taking a step back as much for the tone as for the threat, Shadow recovered himself quickly, "If that's how you want it, I'm game." With an insolent smile, he went for one of the Emeralds in his bandolier.

Kakashi was less than enthusiastic, but more for the fact that he wouldn't be able to touch Mystique without Mr. Incredible going completely off the reservation. Again. Possibly without a return ticket this time, unless Mystique took her natural form when she was killed or unconscious. Neither possibility seemed worth the risk of a Mr. Incredible Kakashi would have to kill to stop. Straightening and dashing sideways so Mystique couldn't do anything to him, Kakashi brought his kunai up to the guard position. A fight seemed inevitable.

* * *

Still sitting on the ground pretending to be Helen Parr incapacitated with pain, Mystique could barely keep the grin from her face. Things were going exactly as she'd planned, with the slight hiccup of Shadow, but he was egging things on nicely. Now she only had to await her opportune moment, and things would be that much easier. Shadow, unsurprisingly, was the first to move, Emerald out and a shout of, "Chaos Spear!" not far behind. The energy projectile was aimed at Mr. Incredible, who simply raised an arm to block. He'd obviously dealt with energy weapons before, and was used to a lack of harm akin to his resistance to guns and pointy objects.

The expression of shock when he was staggered back a step or two, as well as the burn mark on his forearm, wasn't so surprising for Mystique, or even Shadow, though the hedgehog was a bit miffed his signature weapon produced no greater effect. In the brief lull, Kakashi made his move against Shadow, after finishing a set of seals, "_Doton: Doryuheki_!" The earth, trapped under the metal plates of the docks, surrounded the hedgehog with such speed that he couldn't move fast enough to escape the dirt prison. It was a simple thing for the ninja to alter slightly the flows of chakra into the jutsu to create a completely enclosed space, rather than a simple wall.

Seeing one threat more or less dealt with, Mr. Incredible turned his attention to Kakashi. The shinobi stared back at the bigger man levelly, although Mystique was sure she saw some trepidation in the man's eye. At hurting someone he considered a friend, or because he thought Incredible might win, Mystique couldn't be sure. The man was peculiar like that. There was no warning before Shadow burst from the dirt prison, interrupting the confrontation between the two former Enforcers. Frowning, Mystique wondered why the rodent hadn't allowed the two to simply take each other out.

Mystique's gaze followed the dark hedgehog while he spun through the air, landing smoothly a few paces from the ninja. Shadow was glaring before he straightened up, and Kakashi had the appearance of frowning. "That," Shadow began scathingly, "was annoying." As he spoke, the red and black hog raised his hand, clutching a yellow gem barely small enough to fit in his palm. Kakashi was already moving to stop Shadow, and possibly take away his emeralds, but it was already too late, "Chaos Control."

Mystique stared in puzzlement as Kakashi stopped dead, clutching at his middle in obvious pain, though he didn't cry out. Shadow wore a grim expression, and it only took a few seconds to understand why. Kakashi let out a strangled cry while a bubble expanded in his abdomen, growing larger and larger until the shinobi seemed to burst. In a horrified fascination, Mystique continued looking long after a normal person would have torn their eyes from the scene. Shadow was watching with the same grim expression; he'd learned some new things about the Chaos emeralds, but that didn't mean he had to like them. Mr. Incredible couldn't look away from the gruesome aftermath of Shadow's technique, could barely form a coherent thought after seeing someone explode from the inside.

* * *

The three had only a second or two to ogle before the remains went up in a puff of smoke, leaving behind a broken boulder. Puzzlement lasted only a moment before a voice called out from behind Shadow, "_Raiton: Ryouken_!" The attack came from behind Shadow, but he didn't waste time trying to get a look before he sped away, turning in mid run when he thought he had decent enough distance. When he saw the attack, the hedgehog was stupefied that such a thing could exist, but only for a moment. Stay in that state of mind on this island, and you didn't last long.

Kakashi was attacking with a dog… made of lightning. It was chasing Shadow still, although he'd managed to put a pretty fair amount of space between the shinobi and himself. The dog was moving with speed, but not as quick as Shadow could move. Taking off again, the Enforcer dodged around the lightning hound, then made a beeline for the ninja. Jumping up, Shadow spun forward a moment before speeding even faster toward his masked opponent. The homing attack hit Kakashi squarely in the chest with enough force to knock his breath away, and it felt like a couple of his ribs were cracked.

Falling away, Kakashi rolled backwards and to his feet, coming up in time to see Mr. Incredible swat the hedgehog away with a backhand that made Shadow's spinning attack seem like a friendly greeting. The shinobi kept his guard up, however, since Incredible wasn't being too picky about who he sent flying at the moment. Sure enough, the big man sent his attentions straight at Kakashi after Shadow was out of the way. The superhero sent a boulder hurling at the masked man, a boulder Kakashi had not been able to see because of Incredible's considerable bulk hiding it. The shinobi barely dodged in time, and had to keep dodging as his newest foe kept up the attack.

For such a large man, Mr. Incredible could move quickly from blow to blow as he chased Kakashi down. It was almost all the shinobi could do to avoid the ham-sized fists trying to crush him, what with the stab wound in his leg, but he had enough concentration to form his signature jutsu. The sound of hundreds of birds chirping filled the air at the same time Kakashi's right hand was filled with lightning. Incredible didn't let up on the ninja for a moment, but a right hook went a little wide as Kakashi slipped it, and the ninja used the opportunity to drive home his jutsu, "_Raikiri_!"

The shinobi's aim was true, and his right hand dug into Mr. Incredible's right side, just above his liver, though it didn't penetrate as deeply as the ninja had hoped. The wound still gushed blood when Kakashi withdrew his hand, and the big man was still on his knees gasping in pain, but he wouldn't be out of the fight yet. The masked ninja was forced to leap back as his injured opponent took a half-hearted swipe that Kakashi was sure would still send him hurtling away. As soon as he landed, Kakashi was forced to block a swipe from Mystique, still wearing Helen's body, as she attacked him with a knife. The damnable woman seemed quite capable of ignoring the stab wound in her shoulder, although her strike was less than it had been, probably from blood loss.

Kakashi was starting to feel some of those effects himself, and his pant leg was damp with blood now, with no sign of stopping. If this fight hadn't turned suddenly to a four person brawl, or two on one on one depending on Shadow and Mystique, he might have been able to lower his heart rate, or stitch his wound, or any of a number of things to keep his blood on the inside of his body. As it was, he would have to settle for the crudest battlefield treatment of the wound. Pushing Mystique away and simultaneously summoning a small amount of lightning chakra to his index finger, Kakashi used the intense heat to cauterize the wound. It only took a second, but he couldn't stop a hiss of pain from escaping. No matter how many times he'd done that, it wasn't something he could get used to.

Glancing around the docks, Kakashi saw that Shadow was picking himself up with a groan, and holding his right side in obvious pain. With any luck that would take his speed more or less out of the equation. Mystique was in no better shape than Kakashi himself, and probably worse off since she couldn't stop the bleeding from her left shoulder. Hopefully her loss of blood would overcome her soon, and no one would need to worry about her. Better yet if she returned to her original form when she lost consciousness, but Kakashi wouldn't bet on it. Mr. Incredible seemed as though he was ready to fight again, despite the gaping hole in his right side. Kakashi would need to be careful of his right leg, or risk it opening back up after his rushed treatment. In all, he felt the tides of battle hadn't shifted much in anyone's favor, but he couldn't afford to count on injuries incapacitating his opponents.

That in mind, he had one jutsu he could use to definitely remove at least Mystique and Shadow from the fight, and hopefully weaken Mr. Incredible enough to make him easier to deal with. Beginning the seal sequence, he saw every one of his opponents begin their own counterattacks at nearly the same moment.

Shadow grabbed his blue emerald from the bandolier across his chest, lifting one to point at Kakashi and the other to Incredible. With a very satisfied snarl, he ground out, "Chaos Blast!"

Mystique, only a few yards from Kakashi, took his immobility as an excuse to end his interference, utilizing Helen Parr's abilities to whip her right arm towards his heart. The knife clutched in her fist would undoubtedly prove fatal if it hit.

Mr. Incredible, not being a distance fighter or nearly so fast as any of the others, decided to even the playing field in a very Tsunade-like way. Lifting his left foot, he slammed it with all his considerable strength into the ground in front of himself. The undulating floor managed to do some interesting things for the plans of the other three.

Mystique kept her balance, but her rubbery arm absorbed the wave-like motion of the floor on her body, which threw her aim off significantly. Instead of hitting Kakashi in the heart as she'd intended, her knife plunged into his left side, directly under his left forearm. The ninja thought it may have hit a kidney, but couldn't be certain. Regardless, the pain was breathtaking.

Shadow's Chaos Blasts were sent skyward as he was flung onto his back, landing on his skull with a dull thwack that might have signified a concussion. He managed a nauseous groan before he stopped moving altogether.

Kakashi had recognized the attack, and stuck himself to the floor with chakra, but between that and his jutsu, he couldn't spare a thought to avoiding Mystique's unpredictable attack. He finished his seals just as the knife entered his side, and almost lost the jutsu. Only just was he able to whisper the name of his attack, "_Suiton: Daibakufu no jutsu_."

With everyone else in motion or stalled out as they were, none of them could move as water from the cavern behind Kakashi gathered in front of his body and swirled tighter and tighter. None of them, not even Shadow, possessed the speed to outrun the vast torrent that spewed forth from that vortex. The wave crashed into Mystique first, sending her tumbling inside the great current, tossing her body against the ground over and over. It picked up and hurled Shadow as well, though the hedgehog was already down. Amazingly, he retained his grip on the Chaos emeralds he had clutched in his hands. Incredible was also hauled off his feet, tumbled end over end, and thrown against the nearest wall, just like the last time Kakashi had used it on him.

When the attack faded seconds later, and the water drained back into the ocean cavern, Kakashi's view was much different. The remains of his earthen enclose were simply gone, Mystique was slumped in her true form against the wall, Shadow was nowhere to be found, and Mr. Incredible was outlined in steel against the wall across from Kakashi. With a soft groan the large man pulled himself out of the steel, and shook his head to dispel some of the shock of the technique. Kakashi was about to speak, to tell Incredible about the woman who had been impersonating his wife, but instead sank to his knees, completely drained.

It was with some surprise he noted that his chakra was as diminished as it could be without passing out from exhaustion, but with a short reflection on the days' events it was significantly less than unexpected. He'd fought and killed Starkiller, and even with the _kage bunshin's_ chakra and rest filling him afterward, he wasn't at one hundred percent when he fought Incredible the first time. Take into account all the fighting he'd done here, and things were just as they should be. He actually felt more drained than he would have with some actual rest, since even vitality from a dispelled shadow clone still didn't let the body repair itself, just made it _feel_ like it had.

It was after those thoughts that Mr. Incredible caught sight of his former comrade, and gritted his teeth to take a step forward. Then another, and Kakashi could see the man wouldn't stop until he'd reached the ninja. Catching his breath finally after a few more steps from Incredible, Kakashi gestured slowly to where the woman was lying, "Mystique. Not Helen." She was lying very still, the shinobi noted after a moment. As still as death could make you.

Mr. Incredible's head whipped to the side so fast Kakashi thought he might have hurt himself, but after hearing a ragged sigh escape him, the ninja stopped concerning himself with it. The big man turned back to Kakashi with a relieved smile, and said quietly, "Guess I owe you an apology, Hatake."

About to tell him not to worry, the ninja was more than alarmed to see a red tinged sphere appear around the bigger man's head, along with his own. Everything he saw was tinted red, including the hedgehog hobbling into view from the left, two Chaos emeralds held high. He was grinning a sick grin, although his footing was unsteady, and he was bleeding from the right side of his skull where the scalp was split open pretty horrifically, exposing wet, white bone. Kakashi thought he might see some brain matter peeking through as well.

Wasting no time, the ninja yanked a kunai from his pouch and hurled it straight at the hedgehog as fast as it would go. He tracked its progress until a pain like nothing he'd ever experienced shot through his head. It was like a thousand angry bees were stinging his brain, and it was swelling so fast it must sure burst through his skull. It lasted a fraction of a second, but when it ended Kakashi was laid out on the ground, panting and clutching his head, curled into a fetal position. He almost couldn't bring himself to move, afraid the pain might return, and that was something he'd never experienced, not in all his many years as a ninja of Konoha.

Finally, he was able to pick himself up, what felt like a lifetime after the red sphere had dissipated, to see Shadow lying down with a kunai protruding from the middle of his forehead, buried hilt deep in his brain. Oddly, the hedgehog was smiling with pure, unadulterated relief, and the emeralds he'd held onto through Kakashi's water jutsu were much farther away than a simple roll could account for. It was almost as if Shadow had flung them away in the last instant of his life. Shaking off his puzzlement, Kakashi turned to check on Mr. Incredible. What he found made him turn away just as quickly.

The headless corpse of Bob Parr was laid out on his back, spread eagle, hair and gray matter spread out for more than a foot around where his head should have been. Putting that out of his mind as well, Kakashi shuffled over to Mystique's body to ensure she was dead. After checking her still corpse for a pulse, and finding nothing but cold blue flesh, Kakashi turned toward the Marine Battleship his former comrade Smoker used to captain. So much BORED had taken from everyone involved in this tournament. It was enough to make him sick to his stomach, just knowing he'd been a part of it. Pushing his roiling gut from his mind, just like everything else, he turned away from the ship and made his way back into the base.

Hatake Kakashi was tired of running.

A\N: A little late on the deadline, but I'd rather be late and feel good about my entry than the other way around. Jutsu list follows, and be sure to check out Kahaku Kawa, Avatarjk137, and Jjp55's entries for the other sides of this epic battle!

Suiton: suiryuudan no jutsu - water release: water dragon bullet technique

Katon: housenka no jutsu - fire release: mythical phoenix fire technique

Katon: goukakyu no jutsu - fire release: great fireball technique

Doton: doryuheki - earth release: mud wall

Raikiri - lightning edge

Suiton: daibakufu no jutsu - water release: great waterfall technique


End file.
